Wash Away My Sins FMA Story
by weeza29745
Summary: This is a crack pairing story, ya know, crack serious crack serious, crack eventually rules all... Written by weeza29745 & Paris.Love EnvyLust,EnvyEd,EdWinry,EdLust,AlPinako Jk I DON'T OWN FULL METAL ALCHEMIST OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!


Lust sat unwillingly with Gluttony, 'Disgusting pig' she thought to her self. She looked around calmly, she rarely was angry, maybe inside, but rather not seem to intimidate, she had her own ways to get what she wanted. Envy was on a platform, speaking loudly out of order, cursing at the air, jumping around; he stomped out of the room, only to have Lust glide out after him.

Envy was mumbling to himself, he was apparently upset with something. She knew not to bother Envy when he was in rage, she could seduce him into submission, but she knew then he'd expect something, and this way was more amusing. She smirked as Envy started chucking things out of the room he was currently in, face reddening in anger. Lust looked away, staring into the distance. She wondered if there was more to her than alchemy created homunculus. A silent teardrop leaked down her pale white cheek.

Envy went over to Lust, and yelled in her face. Again. Edward couldn't believe it. He'd gotten his auto-mail broken again. And this time it wasn't even his fault. Well, sort of. Not really. Okay, it was completely his fault. At least that's what Winry would say; Damnit, those wrenches really hurt. "Allllll, it's not fair. If you get broken, I can just transmute you back together again. But ... if my auto-mail breaks, I get the pain of breaking my arm or leg AND getting beat up by Winry. And it's not even like it was my fault this time. It's so embarassing...!"

Ed sighed, glancing sideways towards his brother walking beside him, thinking back to the day before.

The reason for Ed's busted auto-mail this time...well, it was kind of embarrassing actually. He'd been making his weekly report to Colonel Roy Mustang, and well...of course that jackass just made his day so enjoyable what with all the short jokes and all. Really, Ed wanted to slap that man. Well, during the report, Mustang hadn't said anything. Just sat behind his desk, munching on that damn banana. When Ed had finished and Mustang still hadn't said anything, not one sarcastic comment, Ed thought something was up.

"Colonel?" When he got no reply, he walked up to the desk and stared at Mustang. Finally, Ed detected movement. Mustang stood up slowly, still with the banana in his hand, and turned away from Edward, looking out the window.

"You may leave, Fullmetal."

"Colonel, what the --?"

"I said, you may leave." And with that, unbeknownst to Ed, Mustang carelessly dropped the banana peel on the floor and walked back to his desk and sat down. He took a paper from the stack on his left and began writing.

"MUSTANG! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU MAKE ME COME ALL THE WAY BACK HERE AND -- AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" During Ed's outburst, he had walked around Mustang's desk and ... well, tripped on the banana peel and fell...and his auto-mail broke. "...So embarrassing." Ed heard Al laughing beside him and frowned. "Shut up, Al. It's not funny!"

"Hahaha, yes it is, older brother, someone as good as an alchemist, and with with your elite skill, slips on a silly banana peel, and breaks his arm? HahHahAahahah HA!" Al laughed at Ed, and looked at him. "And you know, watching Winry throw those wrenches at you will be even funnier!" Al chuckled, and looked away. "Damnit, Al! As soon as I get my auto-mail fixed I'm gonna tranmute you into...something!" Ed could feel the heat rise to his face at his embarassment. "But...umm, Al...could you maybe...not mention this to Winry? I mean...how I broke my auto-mail? It's bad enough with Mustang gloating about 'how the Fullmetal Alchemist slipped on a banana peel' ... but if Winry knew too, she'd never let me live it down."

"Okay, fine brother, I promise I won't tell her, it would be embarrassing for me too. If anyone knew, they'd make fun of me for being your brother. But I would never let that be in the way of our goal... But a Banana peel, my God brother." Al burst into a fit of giggles. "Shut up. You know...I really hate you Al." Ed muttered under his breath, though that was far from the truth. "Don't make fun of your older brother." "Look, Al. We're almost there..." And it was true. Ed could clearly see the outline of the Rockbell's home [[Winry and the outline where there home would have been if it had not have been burned down [[for the insurance money. "Come on, Al. I bet I can beat you!" And with that, he took off down the long road leading to Reseembol.

"Hahaha, No way brother, you have a human leg! You can't beat me!" He sped along, almost up to Ed, but not there up with him though. "Ahh man, you cheated Al!" Of course Al beat him, but Ed could care less. He was home.

"Ahh man, you cheated Al!" Of course Al beat him, but Ed could care less. He was home.

"WINRY!" He yelled. "Aunt Pinako! We're home!" Instead of the usual greeting of yelling and flying wrenches, they were greeting with...silence. "Well, that's odd." Edward jogged up to the house and found the door open and all the lights on. "Winry? Aunt Pinako? Anyone?" The silence was eerie. Where were they? They knew Ed and Al were coming, they wouldn't have left...

"Hello, Edward Elric. How...unfortunate that would meet again, wouldn't you say?" Ed spun around and was greeted with the familiar face of the Homunculus...

"Envy."

Al stood in silence, watching with, what would of been shock. Lust sat darkly in the corner, head faced down, but apparently listening intently. "Where are they? What have you done with them? IF YOU HURT THEM --"

"Don't worry, shorty..." Ed frowned at this remark but somehow held himself back. "I won't hurt them, as long as you cooperate."

"Al, get out of here. Leave, now." Edward turned to his little brother and gave him a fierce look, then turned back to Envy. "You're going to pay for this!" And with that, he clapped his hands together [[lol, sounds weird and transmuted a spear thingy from the floor. He picked it up and ran forward, knowing that this would never kill Envy...but, he had to do SOMETHING.

"You're no match for me. You should know that by now." Envy grinned as Edward rushed towards him. He easily broke the sword in half and swiftly punched Ed in the stomach. Ed groaned and fell to the floor. "Humans are so pathetic." Envy grabbed Edward by the hair and yanked him off the floor. "Listen to me, pipsqueak. You're going to die here, and this time...no one's going to save you, do you understand? You will die. And I will be rewarded."

Lust extended longly, searching Ed's eyes for fear. "Do you think you can take on us? Edward?" Lust questioned his ability, glaring straight at him. Al was preparing to hop through the window.

Edward looked up at Envy, pain evident in his eyes. "No...I can't die," His voice sounded weak, and Envy hit him again, this time in the face. "I can't...if I die, then who will get Al back to his original body again? I CAN'T DIE!" Ed pulled himself out of Envy's grasp and clapped his hands together again and sent spikes shooting up from the floor, which Envy easily dodged.

Edward felt the blood running down his head; he must have hit the floor when he'd fallen...but he quickly pushed the thought aside. He couldn't die, he had to save Winry and Aunt Pinako...and Al... He glanced over at Lust, frowning. "Oh, so now it's two against one, huh? That just doesn't seem fair."

Lust looked away, it pained her some how, to rip Ed away, they had fought before, but actually killing Ed, did something to her. Al noticed this, and desperately wanted to help but felt held back. "What's wrong? You've killed before haven't you? This should be even easier. You guys have been after me for so long!" Edward yelled at Lust, frowning.

"Lust! Stop acting soft and kill the boy. You know what Master will do if we don't kill him..."

"Oh, I see now. This is what your Master wants, not you. You're just a puppet, all of you."

"SHUT UP!" Envy screamed and used his awesome ninja skills to jump back over to Edward and punch him again and again and again. Ed tried to fight back, but Envy. Lust walked over to Envy, and scratched him across the face, and turned. " Stop Envy, just stop..." Lust sank to her knees. Al looked suprised.

Envy growled at Lust...he actually growled, in his anger. "HOW DARE YOU -- DISOBEY -- !" He let go of Edward, throwing him unceremoniously away, where he slumped to the floor, only semi-conscious. "I might as well just kill you here, along with the boy. We both know I have the power."

His grin slowly faltered. "Although...it would complicate things a bit. No matter, you WILL stand aside, and you WILL watch as I kill him. Slowly. Torturing him. Until there's nothing left." He roughly pushed Lust aside, starting forwards towards Ed again.

Envy curled his fist, a sign of his growing impatience. "Lust...stand aside. Why are you acting like this? Isn't this what we've wanted all along? To kill the runt? ANSWER ME!" He stamped his foot furiously, causing the floor to dent slightly under the weight.

Ed groaned inwardly, his body in pain, though he'd never admit it. His vision was blurry, he knew he was losing to much blood... but wait? Who was that in front of him? Al? No, definitely not. No - it couldn't be...? "Lust? Why - why ... are you doing this?" His voice sounded weak, barely a whisper, but he made himself stand tall. He wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Because I'm a separate Homunculi, Envy, you can't make me do anything!" She yelled forcefully. She cursed at Envy. " Ed..." She replied, tears slowly leaking down her cheeks, cloth absorbing the salty Homunculus's tears.

"That's it, I've given you enough chances. If you won't stand aside, then I'll kill you too. First I'll kill the two hostages, then Fullmetal's brother, then the boy, then you. You I will save for last. So you can watch every last one die. And I'll make sure you won't be able to help." Envy ran forward at top speed, past Lust and towards the window where Al was keeping watch, and easily hefted him over his shoulder and brought him inside. "You thought I didn't notice? You give me too little credit..." Envy crooned in a mock-hurt voice.

He set Al down in front of his brother and laughed, as he took Al's helmet thing off to expose the blood seal underneath. "You're going to have a front row seat."

"Al, no! GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Strength suddenly entered his body at the thought of Al dying. After all this... He wouldn't let it happen. He clapped his hands together again and his auto-mail turned into that little blade thingy [so descriptive huh? and he ran towards Envy, wielding his arm like a sword. Lust's eyes widened and she watched them, while Al 'Yelled' and struggled, trying to get away, he didn't want to be slaughtered, who would? Lust ran over and dragged him further away, while grabbing Envy in a neck hold thingy. (Where the person's arms are wrapped criss cross around the other person's throat.) She tried to hold him off.

Lust threw him down, and her nails extended, she looked down upon him and sneered. Envy darted up, and held her in a 'Bear hug' from behind, whispering into her ear. "You're going to die, your sweet darkness that I thought I knew, will leave, and you with it..." Envy held her even more uncomfortably. "Any last words?" Envy asked softly, malice in every word, as he held her even tighter, not even noticing that in the meantime the two Elric brothers were escaping...

"Al, come on - let's go. We need to find Winry and Aunt Pinako." Ed said, motioning for Al to follow him. "Hopefully they're still in the house somewhere... " "But Ed, maybe she's trying to help us..." Al replied. "Envy... You really shouldn't tease." Lust whispered back and looked at Ed and Al sadly. Pleading in her voice, she tried not to sound so scared. " I have a last request Envy..." She told him quietly. Envy kept his face blank, as he let up slightly on the death-grip around Lust. "What is it?" His voice cold and free of emotion. Ed nodded at Al. "Okay, let's just let them die, shall we?" "If she's helping us and giving us the advantage we should take it, don't you think?" Ed asked, glancing over at his brother. She turned around in Envy's arms, and laced hers about his neck. She nuzzled him, she had no idea what his response would be, but from prior knowledge, she thought this was the way to get out of being killed. She thought this might end badly. "Oh my God, brother! Look what she's doing!" Al Said, ignoring what he said completely.

"Al, listen to me when I am talking to --" Ed turned around and finally saw what had distracted Al. "Whoa," Ed commented, his eyes widening in surprise. "Envy and...Lust? Now, that's just weird." Envy's eyes widened as well and his face softened momentarily. "Lust, I..." He paused, his expression disgruntled, then his eyes narrowed and lips curved downward in a frown, he pushed away from her. "Don't you dare -- that won't work -- how dare you try and -- AAAGHH!" Envy was fuming now, breathing heavily, his entire body shaking. Lust backed away, She was looking ashamed, she how her best attack didn't work, and neither did she really expect it to.

"This is getting interesting." He pulled out a tub of popcorn from inside Al's armor [[lol and sat down. "Hmmmm..." Lust looked at him. "It wasn't a trick..." She lied, staring into his eyes. She held his face to hers reluctantly, and gave him a 'fake' romantic kiss. She didn't like it one bit, she was cursing a Envy inside her head, hating him, for everything. She let go, and then looked at Envy again. Al gasped, and watched even more intensively. Ed gasped as well, jumping to his feet and spilling the popcorn everywhere, but he didn't care. "Did she just -- ? Whoa, who knew -- Envy..."

Envy's eyes widened in surprise again. "Lust..." He was pretty much speechless. Had she really just kissed him? Was she tricking him again or ... ?

She looked at him, and pulled him in a tight embrace, dreading it alittle less now, but still, what would of been Al's jaw dropped. He watched and waited. Envy froze, startled at the sudden contact; then finally, relaxed and held her tight, this time in a loving gesture. "Lust, are you really...?"

Ed watched, mystified. Could this really be happening? And what would this mean for him and Al? Would it now be two Homunculus against them? Greeeeeat. Or, it could be the other way around. Perhaps Lust was doing this to distract Envy. Ed just couldn't get his head around it all. She looked at him with a deep look, and with a slight smile she kissed him again. Wilder than before, hoping this would suffice... She still was not so sure, nobody had ever had this kind of contact with Envy, with an alien feeling pumping his, and her blood. Still she wished she didn't have to keep this up for so long, but she didn't hate it, she didn't love it either though.

Al looked away, he wasn't really interested in that anymore, more so, a pretty little blue bird that was singing a sweet little tune outside the window. ( Al has ADD...)

Envy didn't know what he was feeling. It wasn't love...at least he didn't think so, he wasn't sure a Homunculus could love someone. But it was something, like a burning passion or desire...or lust[mwaha bad pun sry had to! He pulled away, still unsure of everything. "Lust..."

"Al! Look, this is great isn't it?" Ed said, watching intently. "Al? What the hell are you looking at?"

"Birdie! Birdie!" Al replied in a child like voice to Ed.

"What's wrong Envy?" Lust questioned in a soft, low voice. Looking at him with great interest. " Please tell me..." she got very close to him, and looking him up and down slowly, hoping he didn't find any flaws in her plan...

"It's just..." Envy gulped, not used to the closeness of the current situation. "I... This isn't a trick, is it?" He asked softly, staring intently into her eyes.

"Al...you are so weird - OH MY GOD! A BUTTERFLY, LOOK!" Ed pointed out the window enthusiastically.

" No..." Lust spoke, laying her head on his chest, her arms locked around his neck, she was standing as close as she could, to double the chance of good results that he wouldn't kill her. (Lol)

Al jumped up and down in excitement of birdies and butterflies. "Yay!!!" He clapped.

Envy smiled slightly, watching Lust. This was ... he couldn't even describe what this was. But it felt good. "I... I ... " He gulped, unsure of how to begin.

"OH MY GOD, THE BIRDIE JUST ATE THE BUTTERFLY! WAHHHH!!!" Tears formed in Ed's eyes and he let them fall in memory of the beloved butterfly.

" Shh... You don't have to say anything Envy..." Lust put a finger to Envy's lips. She held his close as she possibly could, even though it might cut off his circulation.

" GO BIRDIE!!! WHHHHHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!" Cried Al, and looked at Ed, "In your face!" Al said excitedly.

Envy watched her, his eyes wide again. He didn't say anything, just relished in the close contact.

"Ahh, Al...that's so MEEEEEEEEAN!!!" Ed whined. "Poor butterfly... He was my best friend..."

Lust laughed to herself, now fully aware she had lulled Envy into a sense of security, why not have alittle fun with it? She thought, she sat down on the couch, and motioned for Envy to sit with her.

Al whimpered, "I thought I was your best frie--- Look at Lust and Envy, Ed!" Al exclaimed to his older brother. Envy followed eagerly and sat down next to Lust. Now tricked into believing a lie, he brought himself closer to her and kissed her gently, enjoying it thoroughly. "But, Al...the butterfly -- WHOA!" Ed completely forgot about his "best friend" as he was once again fixed on Envy and Lust's actions. Lust started kissing Envy back, and it carried on, forming into a fully flegded makeout session. Suddenly, but strangely, a shot of anger rolled through Ed, and he looked frustrated.

"Brother, what's wrong?" Al asked, noting the sudden change in Ed. Lust felt a different, strange angry aura in the air, she stopped, and looked at the animalistic like desire in Envy's eyes, she tried to get up, but... Envy held Lust down, when he noticed her trying to move. "No, please..." He whispered in ear, breathing heavily again. Lust struggled, and attempted to push him off. Envy wouldn't let her move. "Lust...please...what's wrong...?"

Ed continued to watch, eyes narrowing slightly. Why was he feeling this way...?

"Just, let me up, I know this is new to you Envy... But I need a break..." She said, still trying to get out from under him... "No, you, were perfect," he uttered the words, only so Lust could hear. She stood up and looked over her shoulder at Ed, and Al, remembering the original mission. She decided to come clean. " I don't love you Envy..." She told him, backing away, before he exploded.

Envy looked away from Lust, his expression unreadable. "YOU - YOU... TRICKED ME?!" His voice didn't hold back any of the emotions he was feeling - pain, anger, embarrassment. "YOU BITCH!" He pushed himself off the couch and lunged himself towards her, preparing to strike. Just as he was about to hit her, Edward moved into between him, his auto-mail transfigured into the sword thingy. "This stops here, Envy." He knocked Envy backward with the sword thingy, though it barely did any damage. Envy was back on his feet quickly.

"YOU - all of you - WILL DIE HERE!" Envy cried, his face red with anger. "NO, you will..." Lust replied, more fiercely than she intended, her nails extended and she glided about, Envy trying to slash at Ed, while Al was throwing stuff, and doing kung pow kicks. While Al was kung powing people and things, Ed lashed at Envy again and again, still barely doing any damage. There was only one way to kill a Homunculus...and Edward knew he didn't have the means to kill Envy now... "Envy...stop this. It's three against one, there's no way you'll win." Although Ed didn't believe it, he had to keep up the facade. "No, pipsqueak. There's no way YOU'LL win, and you know it." Lust threw herself infront of Ed, and did a kick to the head, and speared him, waiting for a sign of offensive movement, she knew there would be. Al was busy picking up stuff, he knew Aunt Pinako would yell if she found the house a mess... "Al, you do realize we're fighting for our lives, right? It'd be nice if you'd help out...!" Ed yelled before Envy lunged at him again. This couldn't go on forever. Edward knew he could never beat Envy like this...what was there to do?

Envy growled at Lust again, slashing left and right, rebounding their attacks. "Mwahahahahaah!"

Al took action, with suprising speed, tackled Envy, bringing him crashing to the floor. Lust stabbed Envy again, and made sure he was knocked out. "Brother! We need to leave!" Al cried out, shaking Ed's arm.

"What about Winry and Aunt Pinako??" Ed asked, glancing down at the unconscious form of Envy. Whoa, he hadn't thought it was possible to even knock him out, however briefly. They really did need to leave, but... they couldn't just leave the Rockbells, if they were still here. Suddenly, Ed collapsed to the floor, his breathing heavy. It was hard to breathe, his vision was bleary and he couldn't focus on anything. What was happening...? He gasped as he felt something wet on his left side. Had Envy hit him harder than he'd thought? He glanced down at his hand and saw the red on it even though his vision was slowly fading. "Al..." He muttered, before falling to the ground, unconscious from losing so much blood.

"No!" Lust cried, she rushed to his side, and held his unconscious body against hers, and cried into his hair.

Al rose, picking up his brother, and if he had a body, he would be crying, carrying him out of the house hold, and frantically looking for a medical station. He used to live there, so he rushed to the right, running top speed to the nearest clinic.

Envy was stirring, his eyelids fluttering open lightly. He groaned. "What happened...?" He glanced over and saw Lust, and his face grimaced in pain...and anger. "You...!" She looked over shamfully at him, stood, and started running like hell, tears glistening, threatening to drop, like crystals, but wet. "Not so fast!" Envy growled, running after her, catching up quickly, he caught hold of her and spun her around. "Why? Why did you do it?" She tried to look away. Squirming under his hold, sweating, trying to break free, but eventually gave up, closing her eyes, with her head down. "Are you going to answer me?!!" He screamed, shaking her violently. "Or should I just kill you now?" "Just...stop. This has got to stop." Envy said, frowning, though his tone had gotten softer. "I don't have time for this. I have to kill the boy..." With that he let go of Lust and stalked off in the direction that Al had run, using his Homunculi senses to detect where they were.

Meanwhile... Edward woke up with a start; he had been dreaming about Envy. He had kidnapped Winry and Aunt Pinako and...and... Then he remembered it wasn't a dream. He blinked, confused...so where was he? Al was bandaging him, because Ed was injured, looking up, he saw Ed was awake.

Ed looked around, still slightly confused, but nodded. " I think Lust is in trouble." Al told him.

"What...what are you doing?" Envy cried in surprise as she tackled him. Lust laid her cheek against Envy's Back, because he was obivously taller than her. Tears started to flow back down her face.

Envy didn't say anything. "We left her there alone with Envy didn't we?" Edward asked, a frown on his face. "We have to go help." He stood, ignoring the pain shooting through his side. He couldn't just let her get hurt... "C'mon Al," He said, fighting the pain as he walked forward.

Al helped Ed through the door, and up a hill to find Lust and Envy on the ground, a strange sight to see indeed, especially after what had just happened. Lust stroked Envy's hair silently, but still had him pinned down. "Lust..." Envy whispered softly, still as of yet not noticing the Elrics. "Why... do you keep doing this?". " Envy, you must understand, my feelings are confused... I don't know whats happening to me. " She said in barely a whisper, words pounding through the small space of air like a silk snake, silent, and delicate. Lust let up, and rolled Envy over, so he was lying flat on his back. She pinned him down, AGAIN, and kissed him. She stood up, and turned her back to them. Al was wondering what the hell was wrong with them, also wondering, were all girls this way, or just the homunculi.

"Lust..." Envy frowned, confused. Why...did he feel this way? He didn't like it. He felt...vulnerable. He hated to feel vulnerable. "I don't understand."

Ed watched, also confused. "Al...do you have any idea what the hell is going on? I thought you said she was in trouble..." Lust turned around, and looked at him. "Of course you don't understand. I'm on my period... Alot of things change during these times..." Lust explained.

"Umm, Ed, what's a period??" Al asked, turning to his brother. Envy paused. "Ummm... I didn't know Homunculi could even get their period..." He whispered to himself, then turned to Lust. "I...umm...yeah." Ed turned to Al, his face turning red from embarassment. "Well, ummm...Al. You see...uhh..." He sighed. "I'll explain it to you when you're older."

Lust looked annoyed. "Of course I can get my period you idiot! I ruined three good pairs of lace underwear trying to stop my period!" (Envy is a Guy, keep that in mind, so he has guy reactions) Envy perked up at thought of lace under wear. Al turned his attention back to Lust. "Umm, Al...I don't really think this conversation is appropriate for you. And uhh, Lust seems fine to me. So, uh ... let's go." Ed said quickly, grabbing Al's metal arm and pulling him in his direction. He really wasn't ready for his younger brother to learn the wonders of female puberty. "But brother, i'm 15, I should know this stuff... Why haven't you told me!!!???" He turned to Ed. "You're too young, Alphonse! I'll explain it all when you're about...30, okay? C'mon, we're leaving. NOW!" Edward said, frowning up at his brother and stalking away. If Al wasn't following well then...he was in for it. "Then how do you know brother?" Al asked innocently.

"I…Um...ALPHONSE! STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT! WE'RE LEAVING NOW!" Edward yelled; he was mad now. " PLEASE TELL ME BROTHER!!!!!" Al was wanting to know, but what he didn't know is that he wouldn't want to know once he did know. "YES, YOUNGER! WHICH MAKES YOU TOO YOUNG!" Edward screamed, losing his patience. He then sighed and rubbed his head in frustration. "OKAY, FINE ALPHONSE! YOU WANT TO KNOW, I'LL TELL YOU!" And with that Ed sat Al down and they had a looooong discussion and I'm sure Al was extremely disturbed. Al was shocked, he was scarred for life now, and refused to talk to anyone for a while. "Told you you were too young, Al." Ed said; he couldn't help but smirk because he knew he was right. "Don't talk to me..." Al said in an emoish voice. Ed couldn't help but laugh. "Just admit it, I was right. You need to start listening to me, I am you're older brother. And I'm always right."

Al said nothing. He was still disturbed. He turned around. "How did you know all that brother?" He asked finally. Ed's smirk instantly vanished from his face. "Umm...well, that's not really important. Come on, we should probably go help Lust...or...something..." "But Ed, if your only one year older than me, and we didn't go to school all this time, how would you know???" Al was persistent. "Drop it, Al." Ed replied, a warning tone in his voice. Al silently obeyed.

Al ignored his brother and turned to watch the two Homunculi again. He hated to admit it...but he felt kind of sorry for Envy. "Brother...let's make Envy a cake."

Ed stared at Al in utter confusion. "Al...what the hell?" Yes, his little brother was weird, he had never said anything as weird as that before in his life.

Lust was still mad, that Envy was oblivious, " ALL women have their period, Envy!" She yelled And slapped Envy. Nothing more dangerous than a woman scorned... Uh oh... "I...umm...I'M SORRY!" Envy yelled, shielding himself. Damn, that woman could slap. "You should be." Lust told him, folding her arms, and turning around, nose in the air. She sighed, and turned, looking at him, arms still wound together.

"Brother, he looks like he needs cake... Cake is good. He might not kill us today if we get him cake. " Al explained to Ed. "Okay, Al...so umm, what exactly do we need to make a cake?" Ed asked, glancing around at the things Al had already gather. Despite being the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric had no idea where to start when it came to cooking. "Flour,Eggs,baking powder,chocolate, and icing..." Al said enthuisiacastacally. "Okay, well we have...eggs and flour and chocolate and - Al..." Ed paused, suddenly realizing something. His face turned into a grimace as he asked softly with malice laced in his voice, "We don't have to use...milk, do we?". "Brother, rememeber, you aren't the one eating the cake." Al 'gulped', he was hoping to slip in the milk without Ed noticing. "Okay, you ready?" Ed nodded at Al, who nodded back and they both laid their hands on top of the transmutation circle. With a burst of light blue light, from the circle, and a cake appeared in place of the ingredients. A nice looking cake with chocolate icing was there.

"Hmmm...I wonder if it tastes good..." Ed glanced over at Al, a meaningful look in his eyes. "Maybe I shoud...y'know...test it, just in case." "NOOO!!!!!!!!" Al Cried, tackling his brother. "It must be perfect!!!!". "But Alllll...it looks so gooooood." Ed whined, pouting slightly. "Just one bite? Pleeeeeeeease?" "I thought you said you didn't like milk Ed?" Al accused him, hiding the cake behind back. "I don't." Ed replied seriously, shaking his head. "But when it's all mixed together like that in a cake you can't taste it! Right?" Ed grinned cockily at his younger brother. "So just one piece, okay?" He tried to get the cake from behind Al's back. "NOO!!!!!!!!!! HEY! ENVY!!! WE MADE YOU A CAKE!!!!!!" Al was running frantically to him, when he tripped and the cake flew into Envy's face. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY POOR CAKE! AL, LOOK WHAT YOU DID?!??!" Ed yelled angrily as he began to hit his brother over the head, though it didn't hurt him, because uhh...he didn't have a body! Before Envy even knew what was happening, something hit him in the face. "WHAT THE HELL IS --" He paused, licking his lips. "Mmmmm Mmmm...this tastes good. Is it...cake?" He paused, licking some more off his face. "I LOVE CAKE!" Lust walked over to Envy, and studied him carefully, and began licking cake off his face too. (hahaha, homonculi weakness - Cake)

"HEY! Get off, this is my cake. Go find your own." Envy said, as Lust was eating HIS cake. How dare she?!?! Although his feelings for her were confused, his feeling for his cake were not. The cake was HIS. Lust looked angry, and punched him in the face. "I LIKE CAKE TOO! YOU SELFISH BRAT!" She yelled. Al was utterly confused. "Brother, wtf!? Who knew they liked cake so much?" He exclaimed.

"THEN GO GET YOUR OWN!" Envy yelled, ignoring the pain in his face and continuing his licking. Ed watched in horror at the scene before them. "Woah...scary." He shivered. "AL, I'M SCARED! HOLD ME!" He pouted. "AHHH!!!!!! BROTHER!!!!!!!!" Al started running in circles. "Grrr... We're through Envy, everything!" And out of spite, she stormed up to Ed, and kissed him fiercely, after 6 seconds she let him go. "Is cake better than that Envy?" Yelled from the top of the hill. She rather enjoyed spiting Envy. It was always fun. "Wow, ummm..." Ed was speechless, his face turning completely red from...well, yeah. He stared at Lust confusedly for a few seconds, uncomprehendingly. For being the Fullmetal Alchemist, he really was a freaking Idiot! "Yes, of course cake is better than - wait, WHAT?!?!" It took Envy a few moments to process what was going on. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! HIM?!?!?!" He screamed angrily, quickly licking off the last pieces of cake and storming over to Lust. "Is he better than this?!" And with that, Envy drew Lust to him and kissed her passionately. "Hmm??" He asked when he was through.

She thought of life with Envy, rage, anger, madness, insanity, killing, and abuse... Well, Ed definitely sounded better in choice. " Hmmm... Let me think..." She said mockingly. She liked attention, she decided, quickly enough. " She went up to Envy, held his face close to hers, acted like she was about to kiss him, but smacked his head with hers, causing him a migrain, as she hurried over to Ed and kissed on the cheek triumphantly. "But...I - I ... you...!" Envy spluttered, confused. That move had never failed him before... "AHH, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME RUNT!!!!!!!!!" He yelled moving forward towards Edward.

"Ahh, but we baked you a cake and everything!" Ed replied defensively but it was to no use. He barely had time to move out of the way before Envy attacked.

Lust moved swiftly infront of him. "It wasn't his fault." 'Except for being so hot!' Lust thought secretly. "I DON'T CARE WHO'S FAULT IT IS, I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" Envy screamed, pushing Lust aside and moving toward Ed again.

Ed stood to the side, almost too confused to even bother fighting Envy. Did Lust just...? Had she really...? Did she...? WHAT?!?!?!? Al fended Envy off, while Lust struck from the back. "Could you please help!" Al cried out to Ed. "Oh...uhh, yeah...right." Ed mumbled, transmuting his automail into that blade thingy and slashing at Envy. Lust continued trying to stab him. "Leave-" Slash, another kick, "Now!" She yelled at Envy. "No, I'm not...leaving." The last blow from Lust had knocked him off his feet and now he lay, panting for breath, a few feet away. He didn't even try to stand up. He simply stared at her, pain and confusion in his eyes.

She was bending over him, "Leave... Before you get hurt even more, Envy..." She whispered, one last crystal teardrop leaking out onto him. "But...why?" He asked softly, all the emotions he was feeling evident in that one syllable. "Why did you do this? Why are you doing this? Why him?" "Just... Leave..." She said to him once again, getting to her feet, walking back over to the metal duo, banishing Envy with a wave of her hand.

Envy got to his feet slowly. He scowled, trying to hide the pain clearly etched all over his features. "Fine," He snarled, though his voice said anything but. "Fine. But you will regret this." Envy continued to scowl and then turned away, storming off into the distance and disappearing into the horizon. When he was sure that Envy was gone for good, Ed turned to Lust. "Soo, um Lust...hi." She trotted back to the house, and ran up stairs, untying Winry and Aunt Pinako. "WTF ED! WHY DIDN'T YOU COME UNTY US!" Winry began her rage, and came at him with wrenches.

"Oh, uh ... Winry. Heh, right." Ed muttered, trying as best he could to dodge the wrenches...but here were too many of them. And they hurt. "IT'S NOT MY FAULT. I WAS FIGHTING A DAMN HOMUNCULUS!" He finally yelled angry, rubbing his head in pain. She lightened up, and ran to hug him. Lust looked annoyed, and mad. Winry was hugging Ed alittle too tight. "Uh...umm...can't ... breathe..." Ed wheezed. She was hugging him a little too tight, since he [obviously couldn't breathe; when realizing that she was actually hugging him, a slight blush crept onto his face. When Winry quit, she examined his auto mail. Lust took this opportunity to glide over, and kiss Ed sweetly. The blush on Ed's face became even more apparant [right word? idk ... as Lust kissed him...again. What was with all this attention all of a sudden? Ah, well...Ed liked it. The blush on Ed's face became even more apparent, as Lust kissed him...again. What was with all this attention all of a sudden? Ah, well...Ed liked it. She smiled satisfactorily, and glared at Winry. Winry took Ed by the arm , and began fixing his auto-mail, and was very gentle with it. Al was confused, poor Al, no body likes him like that... Despite being a complete baka, Ed could feel the tension in the air. So he tried his best to break it. "So, uh...Winry. I didn't mess it up to bad this time, did I, ha ha?" He laughed uneasily, nodded toward his automail. Pinako watched the display with interest. Hmmm...two girls fighting over Ed? This could be interesting. "Oh..." She looked over at Al, feeling sorry for him. "Heyy, Alphonse..." She sauntered over and clung to his metal arm. "What's up?"

"Ummm..." Al was alittle creeped out. "It's okay to be nervous," She said casually. "You're new at this." She winked up at him. Al was really creeped out now, Aunt Pinako had a crush on him? wtf??? "But I do know what you did mess up on!" Winry was upset, and Lust glared. Ed frowned. "What? What are you talking about, Winry?" Wow...Ed was stupid.

Pinako smiled at Al. "It's okay." She muttered again, trying to console him. "That... That... Sin!" She cried, pointed at Lust, who looked offended. "Well I'm not the little hoochie that throws wrenches at hot guys!" She had accidentally let the last part slip.

Al was still, eyes fixed on the the growing cat fight, or... Wrench fight... Edward glanced from Lust to Winry, then back again. "WHAT?!…are you guys fighting over me?" He was finally starting to catch on. "Guys, stop…Winry, Lust…stop…" But they weren't listening to him. He could fiercely battle Homunculi single-handedly, but when it came to girls…Ed was hopeless. Pinako sighed, watching the girls. "Ahh…to be young…" She reminisced about her past. "Aw, well…c'mon Alphonse. Why don't we go somewhere a bit…quieter?" She said seductively, beginning to pull Al away. Lust drew a breath of air,and retracted her nails, she snuggled up to Ed, and waited.

While Al sighed, and sat looking at the piece of work. Ed pulled away from Lust. "I'm sorry. I just don't like you...like that. I'm sorry." He repeated, then sighed. Why was this happening to him. She turned away, a silent tear fell down her face. Maybe she wasn't meant for love, only lust. Not to stay in one spot, but to always be on the move. She didn't say anything, just quietly walked out of the room. Winry snickered, and walked towards Ed. "Are you ok?" She asked innocently, like nothing even happened.

"Umm...I'm fine, Winry." Ed replied, then asked (because he is a baka, afterall), "Hey where did Al and Aunt Pinako go?" Winry led him by the hand to the room where Al and Aunt Pinako were, looking at the auto-mail, sparkles in her eyes, " Made it just for you Ed..." She said to Ed, smiling brightly. "Oh wow! It's amazing, Winry." Ed said truthfully, inspecting the automail carefully. "Your automail's the best."

Lust glided over to the knife holder, and pulled one out, stainless steel, straight edged, and sharp. She had lost the care, the heart, the paitence. She sliced open and held it high, letting the blood flow over her head, the scarlet liquid, falling down, down until it reached her feet.

"Aww... Thank you Ed!" Winry blushed and embraced him. "Yeah, sure." Ed replied. "So ... umm...got any food?" He was really starving after everything that had happened. Winry guided him into the kitchen where they found Lust, covered in blood. Winry gasped, and backed up alittle, because Lust looked scary covered with blood. Ed gasped. "OMG! WTF!" He exclaimed. While Winry and Lust had been fighting over Ed and Al had thought Pinako was going to rape him, Envy was sitting under a tree in the forest. Just...thinking. About Lust, and what had happened between in the last few hours. So much had happened...in so little time... What were these feelings? Were they really love? Or just lust? When Lust had betrayed him it hurt. Was it supposed to hurt this much? Envy frowned. How could she choose Ed over him? Honestly, Ed was human. He, however, was just like her. A homunculus. Distant from the human world. So, how is that she loved a human? He felt sadness and pain at the thought of her loving another, but he shoved the feelings aside. He was so damn pathetic. Suddenly, he sensed something deep in his gut. Something…strange. IT WAS HIS HOMUNCULI SENSES AGAIN. He could sense Lust…something was wrong. Or different. Something had happened, but he had no idea what. At once, without thinking, he sped off to where he knew she was - the Rockbell's house. "Lust?" He called out, moving from room to room searching for her. And then he found her…standing in the kitchen, covered in … blood. "Lust!" He cried, worry in his voice, though he knew she wouldn't die from the wounds. He ran over to her and embraced her, holding her in his arms. She returned the embrace. "I'm sorry... I was angry... Wash away my sins..." She cried to him.

Al ran in, wondering what was going on. "What.. What happened!?" He asked.

"It's okay, everything's okay..." Envy murmured in her ear, stroking her hair softly. "I'm here now. I'll never leave you again." He promised. "Just watch, Al." Ed replied in frustration, pulling out some popcorn randomly and shovelling it in his mouth. She cried openly, and held him tighter still. "Your right, I did regret the final decision..." She said softly.

"Ed! Why are you eating! This is a touching moment!" Winry yelled at him, throwing a wrench that came from no where.

"It's okay, it's okay..." He repeated soothingly over and over, burying his face into her hair [[pretend all the blood is magically gone lol and pulling her even closer. Lust looked into Envy's eyes, after everything they have been through, it turns out to this. "Envy..." She whispered.

Winry growled at him, and took the popcorn, and Al backed away, scared of angry women was he.

"I realize now...what these feelings are," Envy said slowly, meeting her gaze. "They're love. Lust, I love you."

"Hey, give that back!" Ed whined, reaching the popcorn. "I'm hungry!"

"Yes..." She said knowingly, and she kissed him, a passionate, REAL love kiss. He kissed her back, passionately. Winry held the popcorn above Ed's head, "What's wrong? Can't reach it?" She teased merrily. As Al thought, 'Wow, girls have strange mood swings'. Ed's face grew red from anger. "Are you calling me SHORT?!?!" He challenged, jumping for the poopcorn. but only embarassing himself as he was...too short to reach it. "Al, could you help me out here?" He asked between clenched teeth. "Heheh, no way brother, she'd dis-assemble me if I did..." Al replied with a small chuckle. Winry laughed heartily, and looked down at Ed.

Lust just noticed the loud racket the others were making. "Will you guys SHUT UP!" She scolded them harshly. "Yes, seriously...we're trying to have an intimate moment here." Envy agreed, then frowned at Ed. "Hey, what are you still doing here. Didn't I kill you?"

Ed shook his head, "Nope."

" Go away, we need to have some, 'alone time' . " Lust told them. (0.0") Al was weirded out once again, wondering what she meant by alone time... "Ooooohh...I wanna watch." Ed said, perking up instantly at 'alone time.' Winry slapped Ed. "Pervert!" Said Lust out to him. "Hey, ouch." Ed frowned, rubbing his cheek. "Okay, fine. Al and I will have our own alone time...right Al?" Ed look over at his younger brother and nodded, walking over to him and dragging him out of the room.

"He is so weird..." Envy commented, raising an eyebrow as he watched the older Elric. Winry and Aunt Pinako scampered away to the other room, closing the door behind them selves.

"Finally, they left..." Lust muttered as she kissed Envy softly, leaning her head against his chest, she giggled to herself. 'Ed is really weird...' She agreed with Envy silently. "Yeah..." Envy nodded, pulling her closer and resting his head on top of hers. And now we move back to Al, Ed, Winry, and Aunt Pinako, while Lust and Envy started doing 'stuff'. We'd rather not talk about it...

Any who, "Hey brother, why are you so weird?" Al asked Ed innocently. "What?! Don't call your older brother weird, Al. I'm not weird." Ed replied defensively, as he moved over to Winry. "So...uhh, about that food...?" Winry pulled Ed's tub of popcorn out of her shirt. " So, uh, Winry, what else can you pull out of your shirt?" Ed asked winking. "WTF!? Ed You Perve!" Winry accused, and threw a wrench at him. Winry pulled Ed's tub of popcorn out of her shirt. " So, uh, Winry, what else can you pull out of your shirt?" Ed asked winking. "WTF!? Ed You Perve!" Winry accused, and threw a wrench at him. Ed grinned innocently at Winry, then looked down at the popcorn. "Aww, man...it's stale." He tossed it aside and sighed. Now what was he going to do without his popcorn? How could he possibly survive? And then he remembered. Al had popcorn in his suit of armor! At least, he had earlier...so why not now? "Heyyy Alllllllllllphonse!" Ed sauntered over to his brother and took off his chestplate [[know what i mean??? the armor's chestplate, not Ed's / that'd just be weird and began rummaging around. First, Ed pulled out some bent up newspapers, something about a serial killer or something. He cast them aside quickly. Then he pulled out some wrenches (why did Al have those?) and then a book about alchemy. And then...a cat. "Al! Not again! You can't keep picking up strays like that!" Ed yelled angrily, throwing the cat away [lol and digging into the armor again. Finally his hand found something that could...maybe ... hopefully ... be popcorn. He pulled it out and to his surprise it wasn't anything close to food, let alone popcorn. It was a magazine. A Playboy magazine. "Umm...Al...why the hell do you have THIS in your armor?" Ed asked, shoving the magazine in Al's face. "Umm... Older brother... Your too young..." Al would of been sweating, but they could tell that he was embarrassed. "You... Shouldn't ask questions..." He gulped. "Brother..." Al replied. "I'm too young?! What the hell are you trying to say?! You're too young, Alphonse." And suddenly, his tone switched to strict and parent-like. "You're the one who's too young! I don't even know what to think...why would you...AAAAGH!" Edward screamed in frustration and turned to Winry. "Could you help me out here?" "Al, I am very disappointed, your father and I--- Oops... Sorry Ed!" She was blushing at her tiny mistake. All the sudden Envy came into the same room, smirking. Ed was too frustrated with Al to even realize the mistake Winry had made [[too bad for him, he's such a baka. "Alphonse, I want you to explain this to me. RIGHT NOW!" He slammed the magazine down on the floor to emphasize this.

"Hey, what's up?" Envy asked casually, looking pleased with himself. "What's with all the yelling?" He then walked over to the magazine and picked it up. "Ohhh...I've been looking for this for ages! Thanks guys!"

Ed looked from Al to Envy, shock written all over his face. "Uhh...umm...I'm confused. How did your magazine get in his armor?"

"Envy? Envy?" Lust called, she glided into the kitchen, wearing only a blanket over her torn clothes. "What's all the commotion?" She asked with curiosity streaking her voice. "Oh, umm...they found my magazine for me -- I mean, I HAVE NO IDEA!" Envy yelled, quickly shoving the magazine back into Edward's hands. "This pervert here was trying to get me to look at that thing." Lust glared at Ed. And settled herself in Envy's arms. "I'm glad i'm with you then..." She said to him, blissfully unaware. "WHAT?!?! This isn't even mine! Tell him, Al...Winry! It's not...not mine!" Ed's face turned red, whether from embarassed or anger, or both, even he wasn't sure. Envy smirked at Ed over Lust's head, making sure she didn't notice. Winry wanted to take this oppurtunity to do something to Ed. " I have no Idea what your talking about... You tried to get me to be in the magazine, I refused, you brought it out." She lied. Lust glared at Ed more, and kissed Envy sweetly. "WHAT?!?!" Ed's voice went so high it squeaked [hah and he sputtered, "...but - but...no...it's not mine...not mine...i wouldn't...i don't...but..."

"But brother... You are a pervert, everyone knows it's yours..." Al was joining in this fun game. "DAMNIT!" Edward yelled and stood up [because i say he was sitting down lol and slammed the magazine down...again. "The damn magazine is not mine. And I'm not a pervert, Al!!" Ed didn't care if he was lying...but damnit, the magazine WAS NOT HIS. "Yes you are..." Winry replied with a chuckle. Lust laughed too. But her blanket fell off. exposing her nearly naked body. She still had the main parts covered up though, so don't worry. Ed gaped, and stared. "See? You are a pervert..." She said again. Lust blushed madly, and clung to Envy who smiled victoriously. "I...I'm not a...pervert..." Ed muttered, still unable to take his eyes off of Lust's exposed body. Envy smirked again, then frowned slightly.

"Get your eyes off of her, PERVERT." He said, taking the blanket and covering her again, pulling her closer to him. Lust cuddled up to Envy, flipping Ed off. "Hahaha, brother, you are a pervert," Al said. "You couldn't stop staring..." Al laughed, as he petted a random kitty. "I - I...I was NOT staring, Al." Ed replied, blushing slightly, then continued, "I-I...uhhh! Al, aren't you supposed to be on my side?" "Face it, runt. You're a pervert. Everyone here agrees." Envy's smirk hadn't moved from his face and he winked at Ed, a malicious glint in his eyes. "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom..." Lust hurried, finding herself alittle lost on her way. "I don't mind perverts..." Aunt Pinako muttered. What a creepy old lady. "Envy... Are you a pervert too?" Al asked him, seeing the malicious glint, and wink. Envy frowned. "I'm not the pervert. He's the pervert." He pointed over at Ed, who pointed back.

"No, I'm not! He is!" "Then what about what happen--" Al was cut off by Lust running in. "Envy! We're pregnant!" She exclaimed.

"My point..." Al muttered. Envy face paled at Lust's words. "What??!?! But - but...we used protection...didn't we?!" Then, he passed out on the floor from the shock.

Ed couldn't help but start laughing. He hated Envy, and loved when he was upset, or hurt, or angry, or sad, or...you get the point. "Um..." Lust knelt down beside Envy, gave him alittle kiss. "I guess the homemade kind don't work that well..." She muttered to mostly herself. Envy stirred slightly and sat up in a start. "Oh my God...Lust I had this horrible nightmare. You were pregnant and - and - and...and..." He couldn't finish, he was shivering too badly from the horror. Ed was still laughing. "But envy, it's true... Your gonna be a daddy!" She said excitedly. "WHAT?!?!!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!" Envy screamed. "But...we - we...I'm - I'm too young to be a daddy!" Ed couldn't breathe, he was laughing so hard now. "You'll make a fine father Envy! To all our homonculus children!" Lust couldn't understand what he was going through. She was excited to be a mother. "But...I can't be a father! You don't understand! Me? A father! It can't. It must be lying. Take the test again. Do something. No, no, no, no." Envy was freaking out now. Ed laughed some more, "Hahahahahaha...you're gonna have babies." She shook her head. "I'm positive... We're gonna have sextuplets!" She cried in joy. "Uhhh..." Envy mumbled and passed out again. It was just...too much information. Ed suddenly stopped laughing, realizing something. "Wait a second. If Envy's having kids...does that mean they're all going to want to kill me? DAMNIT!" "I guess.." Al said to his question. "Or, the'll give you worse torture, babysitting job..." Al told him. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ed screamed at the thought of babysitting Homunculi babies. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, AL! MAKE IT GO AWAY!!! HELP ME! HELP!!!!!!" "Hahaha, brother, that would be fun to watch..." Al replied. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ed screamed again then paused, and grinned evilly at his brother, "What if they make you help?" "Silly brother, you forget, I'm metal, MUAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Oh, but then again, THEY MIGHT HURT MY KITTIES! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He cried. All this screaming stirred Envy. "And don't forget the butterflies..." Ed muttered, then glanced at Envy. "I really hate that guy." He stated, matter-of-factly.

Envy woke up for the second time and groaned. "I don't even want to know. I'm going to get some beer." He stood up and went into the kitchen, searching for the beer; because he wanted to eat the beer - I mean, drink the beer. "Envy, what's wrong?"She asked in a hurt voice. She thought he fainted from gladness. Poor Lust was wrong. She pat her belly, and followed Envy to the kitchen. He took some beer and drank it and got drunk. In his drunkeness [[??? he staggered over to Ed and slung an arm around his shoulder. "Awww, Ed...I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Ed was quite disturbed at this and shrugged away from his grip. "Noooo, don't leave me, my love!" Lust was mad. She walked over, and slapped Envy, with a sigh she sat down, pulling Envy down beside her, hoping he wouldn't do anything else stupid. "Ahhh, you hag, get away from me." He pulled away from her and hopped like a bunny back over to Ed. "Hmm...wanna go out with me?" "... Envy... Dammit, I'm not gay!" Ed said getting up, and backing out. Lust walked up, and punched Envy in his face, and growled, "Excuse me? 'Old hag'? Am I?". "Uhh...what? Oh, leave me alone, I just got rejected." Envy pouted and walked out of the room and locked himself in the bathroom and broke the mirror and cut himself. Lust broke through the door, with her nails... "Bitch, please, you think your upset? How did you think I felt all those times when I cried! I'll have to wait till your sober before you'll listen to reason..." She sat quietly on the bathroom counter, arms crossed. "LEAVE ME ALONE DAMNIT!" Envy said and threw some glass in her face and leaving. Then he went back to the other room and kissed Winry, though I have no idea why. Lust pulled the glass out of her face, it left a bloody mark. She walked in the other room, and broke down in tears. "But... Our children... Will live in a broken family..." She said in a hurt voice. Winry pushed Envy off, he tasted of alcohol. Ed came back into the room, just in time to see Envy kissing Winry. "WHAT THE HELL?!??!" He yelled punching Envy in the face. "GET AWAY FROM MY GIRL -- I mean...her. Yeah, her. Get away from her." Ed's face turned red and then he punched Envy again, just to punch him. Because it was fun. Winry blushed madly. "Oh Ed..." She whispered, dreaming of a date with him, with starry eyes. Lust stalked over, and Bashed Envy's and Ed's heads together to give them a headache, and then took her seat quietly beside Al.

"Ummm..." Ed muttered, staring at Winry, unsure of what to say after his outburst. "Winry...I..." But he was soon interupted by Envy, who came up to him and stared into his eyes briefly.

"Edward...you so pretttttttty." He whispered seductively in Ed's ear, and Ed could smell the alcohol on his breath. Edward was really creeped out. Like, oh my God, totally...ewww.

"Ummm...get away from me." Edward tried to push Envy away from him, but Envy pulled Ed closer into and, without warning, kissed him. Ed immediately pulled away and rubbed his mouth and spit. "EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!" He screamed, completely freaking out. "OH MY GOD!" He ran to the bathroom and began to eat toothpaste tubes whole to get the taste out of his mouth. (The Rockbell's had a surprisingly large amount of toothpaste...)

Envy, meanwhile, stared at the spot where Ed had been for a few minutes, and then his eyes widened in shock. "OH MY GOD! DID I JUST...?!??!?!" He screamed and ran out of this house, running for miles, to get away from the embarassment. Lust rubbbed her forehead, and glided out after Envy. She sighed as she reached where he was.

"Ed? Are you ok?" Winry asked him through the bathroom door. She walked in and watched him, that must have been disgusting for him, cause he's a guy... And I don't think he's gay. Envy just kept running.

"OH - MY - GOD!" Ed continued to repeat over again and again, in between practically inhaling toothpaste. "Winry!" He yelled, suddenly noticing her. He shivered, "OH - MY - GOD!" He repeated again, going into shock from the horror. " Ed, CALM DOWN!" Winry yelled, she went over to keep him from hypervenilating.

"Envy... Wait! You weren't yourself!" Lust called after the racing homonculi. "Wait! WAIT!" She ran fast, being scarred from the branches, and trying to find him in the woods.

"I CAN'T WINRY, I CAN'T." Ed replied, shaking his head furiously. "Did you see what he...OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I'm never going to be able to sleep again." He was still shivering in horror, looking around with wide eyes and jumping every few seconds.

Finally, Envy ran out of breath and stopped, trying to gain it back. He refused to look at Lust. He couldn't believe he had done that. And with ED?!?!??!?! At least he could have picked someone TALLER... Lust turned his head towards her, and gave him a tender kiss. "Just forget about it, I know you were... Drunk... But PLEASE calm down sweetheart!" She whispered words of comfort. Envy smiled.

Winry smacked Ed with a wrench, "CALM DOWN DAMMIT!" She screamed at him. And sighed that she got that off of her things to do list. "Ow," Ed rubbed his head for the millionth time in an hour...or something. "Thanks." That was the only time in his life he'd ever thank her for hitting him with a wrench...unless Envy kissed him again...OH MY GOD! He swallowed one last tub of toothpaste and then smiled at her, his teeth shining.

"I...I'm sorry." Envy whispered, and pulled her toward him, embracing her. "I'm sorry." Lust hugged Envy back. "No matter how many hugs I get from you, I always blush..." She said quietly to him, smiling, and, well, blushing.

"Hehe, your welcome Ed..." Winry also grinned, and gave him a friendly hug. Ed smiled wider as he squeezed her butt, and started laughing, Winry pulled away, and smacked him with a wrench again. "What?" Ed asked, grinning innocently. Winry was blushing like mad, and very angry, she walked over to the door, and locked it, and started beating Ed up, yelling, all out of sorts. Al walked over to the door, and thought something else was going on in the room.

Lust unleashed a romantic kiss unto Envy.

Ed held his arms up to shield himself, but it was no use...he would have bruises in the morning. "Ah! Winry! Ow!" He yelled, unknowingly giving Al the wrong impression.

Envy pulled away and slapped her. "Aw, what now biatch." Suddenly, it started snowing. "OH MY GOD, SNOW!" Envy laughed. "Let's make snow angels!" Lust yawned, and looked at him wearily. "I'm tired... Can't we do it later?" she told him. She walked over to him, dragged him to the ground and snuggled up to him. "I'm cold Envy..." She said, scooting in closer. "But I wanna make snow angels..." Envy pouted, then sighed. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, hoping to keep her warm. "I promise we will later sweetheart..." She said to him just before she nodded off to sleep.

Winry ceased her punches, kicks, and wrenches with one last scream of rage, and unlocked the door. Al heard it click, and ran back to the kitchen. "Ow...are you done trying to kill me?" Ed asked, slowly lowering his hands from shielding his face. Winry opened the door, and looked annoyed. Al walked in and stood his ground. "HOW DARE YOU RAPE WINRY OLD BROTHER!" Al accused him loudly, as Winry stifled a laugh.

Lust smiled softly in her sleep. And snuggled EVEN closer to him in the sleep. "Fine..." Envy replied, trying to sound angry, but he couldn't stay angry at her...he just couldn't.

Winry busted out laughing. Al didn't notice. "I knew you were a pervert Ed, but to sink THIS low... You disgust me..." Al turned away from him in shame. "WHAT?!" Ed yelped at Al. "I-I didn't rape her! She's the one who raped me...with those damn wrenches." "WHAT?!?! But...Al...I...UGH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!" Ed yelled and slammed his left hand against the bathroom door...which happened to be made of metal (it was Winry's house afterall). "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" He began jumping around the room comically, holding his hand close to him. "Damnit." "I didn't say anything Ed." Winry chuckled, While Al shot dirty looks at him.

Envy leaned his head against the tree he was leaning his body against and closed his eyes, content to be just sitting here...with her. Lust, deep in her sleep, moaned Envy's name over and over again. It sounded sweet in his ears…

"I don't care!" Ed said and then, "Ow ow ow ow...damnit, Winry! Why do you have a metal door?!" Ed glared at her, though not angry at her particulary. Winry was holding down the last of her giggles. "Hahaha, Al, he wasn't raping me... I was beating him up." She explained. "Ohhh..." Al said knowingly. "See?" Ed said, frowning at Al. "Why do you guys always expect the worst of me?" He pouted, still cradling his throbbing hand. "Well... You are the pervert Ed..." Winry said thinking. "I...am not a pervert." Ed replied defensively and then after the looks he got from both Winry and he frowned and sighed. "Okay, fine. Maybe I am." Al laughed and agreed quickly, " Yeah you are."

"Shut up, Al. You're the one with a Playboy magazine in your armor, remember?" Ed pointed back at Al accusingly. "But... But..." Al panted, and laughed nervously. "But...But...what, Al?" Ed smirked triumphantly, stilling pointing. He liked to point ... and smirk ... and pout. It was fun.

Lust woke up with a yawn, and looked up at Envy. "Ok, I'll make snow angels now..." She said getting up, holding his hand. She plopped down on the ground, and began the snowy art. "YAY!" Envy cheered and began making angels. "Aww, Lust...look at this one! It looks like you...it's preeeeeeeeetty." Envy squeeled and pointed. Envy grinned. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Envy kissed her passionately and then yelled to the world, "I LOVE LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUST. AND SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. AND CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE." Lust laughed hard, and decided to yell out too. "I LOVE ENVY THE MOSTEST EVER FOREVER AND EVER!!!!!" She looked at him, and smiled, leaning into him. Envy smiled and held her and kissed her and did 'other' stuff to her.

Winry started laughing again, she also liked to laugh, and Al had shifty eyes. "Well, you gonna answer, Alphonse? Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh?" Ed asked, laughing as he saw how uncomfortable this made his brother. "It's okay, man dude man dude. I'm your brooooooooooooo, man dude. You can talk to me."

"Brother, you put me in an uncomfortable postition." Al said, he would have been sweating, but didn't have a body so he couldn't.

"Nah, bro. I'd never do that, duuuuuuude." Ed shook his head, randomly climbing up on Al's back and banging on his helmet thing. "Argh!" Al cried, shaking him off.

Lust fell down, clinging to Envy's leg. "Ahh!!!!!!! Help me..." She cried, and tears streaked her face, her baby cramps were starting. "Ah! What's wrong? Are you okay?!?!" Envy began freaking out, kneeling down beside her. "The... Children..." Lust cried out, she was scared of what was happening to her.

"Nooooo, Al...gimma a piggy back ride. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease." Ed pouted. Al reared around. "No, brother! That's just wrong!!!" Al said, as Winry laughed. Al submitted to his older brother's commands regretfully, and gave him a piggy back ride. "YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Thanks, Al. You are the best little brother ever!" Ed cheered, but didn't pout.

Lust squeezed Envy's hand tightly, and screamed out in pain. (Homonculi have babies very quickly.) She was crying tears of pain. And looked scared. "Their here..." Is all she could whisper before she began her scream fest. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Envy ran around in frantic circles, pulling at his hair. "WHAT DO WE DO?! WHAT DO I DO??! SHE'S GONNA DIE...OH MY GOD!" "GET...PINAKO..."Lust managed to splurt out to him. "Uhh...yeah...okay...Pinako...right." Envy muttered to himself, running around in zigzags now. "Who is that again?"

Ed didn't mind that his head kept hitting on the ceiling...I mean, it couldn't possibly hurt any worse, Winry had probably given him permanent brain damage. Plus, he felt tall! "Hey look guys, it's snowing!" Winry pointed out. "Come on, lets go!" She told them, leading them outside to the hill, and as soon as she had made a snow ball, Envy came running at them, looking very worried. "OH MY GOD! PEOPLE!" Envy yelled and pointed at them, and Ed pointed back and screamed and fell off Al and hit his head and passed out. "Help me, Lust is...she's...she's..." He simply pointed at her and shivered. "Help her! She's going to die!" Winry began racing off, afraid for Envy, but not as afraid. Al was right behind her, leaving Ed behind in the snow. As they reached the woods, the saw Lust lying on the ground, white as the snow, sweating, and breathing heavily. "Envy, hold her up!" Winry ordered him. She went around , and began to pull out babies. Al would of fainted if he wasn't armor. "OH MY GOD!" Envy screamed again and pointed again and threw up and almost fainted, if not for needing to help. Ed stayed unconscious, slowly getting buried in the snow...and he was so small...no one could see him...

Once the grueling task was finished, Lust lay, passed out, as Winry, held the children carefully. "Envy, HELP." She commanded him. "OH MY GOD - these are my children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Envy screamed and pointed and cheered, because surprisingly he felt really happy and proud...he had children. And lots of them. "Okay, this one's name is Envy Junior...1. And this is Envy Junior 2...and 3...and 4..." And then after he was done naming them, he helped. Lust woke, rubbing her head, she ran too them, lifting on of her children, and carrying it with her, tears of joy in her eyes. She leaned her head on Envy's shoulder for the walk back to the Rockbelles, completely bypassing Ed. But Al, pulled him out of the snow and carried him on his shoulders. "Damn it, Al. It was warm in there...and I could feel anything...in fact, I still can't." Ed whispered, since his lips were blue and he very well couldn't possibly lose all his limbs now. Envy smiled at Lust and then his children...all named after him. He was HAPPY. HAPPY. HAPPY. Not Envy...HAPPY. Lust walked through the door, and carefully wrapped her homonculi children in blankets, kissing each one on the forehead. "Aren't they beautiful?" Envy cooed and poked one of them, and it started crying. "Aw, damnit. SHUT UP!" He poked it again which only made it cry louder. "Damnit, what the hell? Is it broke?"

"Envy! Will you stop!" Lust yelled quietly. She quieted down the newborns, and shot Envy a dirty look. Al looked amused while Winry giggled softly. "What?" Envy asked, confused. "What's wrong with them? Are they stupid?"

"No you idiot, they are crying because your hurting them..." She explained. Trying to soothe the little ones was not as easy as it sounded. "But...I didn't do anything," Envy replied defensively, frowning. "I would hurt any of my Envy Juniors...except maybe 4, because I don't like the number 4..." Lust growled at Envy. "Why'd you name them without me?" She said in an Icy tone, forgetting about him hurting them. She looked very angry. "Ummm...well, look at them...don't they all look just like me? I mean, seriously...if you can't see the resemblence, then you're blind." He stated matter-of-factly and shrugged. She stared at them for a while. "No." She replied non-chalantly. "I think we should have named them... TOGETHER!" She yelled at him. Narrowing her eyes at him. He backed up a few. "Well, umm...I thought you'd..." He gulped nervously, seeing he had made a mistake. "...like it." "Why did you assume that I want to call my children, Envy 1, Envy 2, Envy 3, Envy 4, Envy 5, and Envy 6 you idiot!" She yelled out at him.

"Uhh, hey, guys, if you had children, doesn't that mean you should get married?" Winry asked, trying to annoy Envy. "I...I'm sorry...I thought it was...classy...or something..." Envy muttered and back away some more. Then, hearing Winry, his eyes widened. "WHAT?!!" Suddenly, Ed came back to the story and frowned. "Eww...babies." He commented, pointing and pouting. "And marriage...ewww... Girls are gross."

"Yeah, duh, if you make a girl pregnant, you have to marry her, if you don't, well, you are a bad daddy. "But I don't wanna be a bad daddy!" Envy whined and frowned and thought to himself, 'but I'm not ready for this type of commitment. Now, if it was Ed... No, gross! What the hell am I thinking?!?!'


End file.
